Learning to trust my intuition has been a journey. Sometimes it feels easy, and other times, not so much… like this past month. I was sitting outside a cafe all dolled up in my new pink dress. Eyelashes curled, hair extensions in. Heck, I even had on face primer so my makeup would look flawless in the photos! In a tote bag on the ground by my feet were two other outfits I’d brought for the photoshoot. I was excited to get some new pictures taken for my socials, blog posts, etc.
But, as I listened to the photographer, a woman I had only briefly met a week earlier, rattle off all the reasons why life coaches, especially spiritual life coaches, weren’t always so credible, I lost it. I started crying and had a complete meltdown. I felt the stares of everyone sitting around me and even of those passing on the street. I needed to make a decision. Do I try as graciously as possible to excuse myself, and get up and leave? I mean, this photoshoot was a bust, right? Or, do I apologize and push through, make up a reason why I was so emotional? Or, could I do something radical instead? Do I trust my intuition?
A Complicated Reaction
It wasn’t that I hadn’t heard arguments like hers before. If I’m being honest, I kinda used to think the same way. When I first started coaching, I focused on marketing myself solely as an Executive Coach. I did this mostly because I’d seen exactly what she was describing. Life coaches with weak credentials, little life experience, or those who were spending all their time pushing their latest offers saturated my social media feeds. So much noise and clutter inundated the coaching space. And I didn’t want to defend myself against viewpoints I didn’t necessarily disagree with. And don’t even get me started on what it means to step into “spiritual” life coaching. Oy vey, mamma mía!
Losing Trust in Myself
So though shocked that she was coming at me (at least that’s what it felt like at the time), I wanted to give her compassion. So I put on my coaching hat, and though uncomfortable, I tried to listen intently and be curious about what she was going through. I kept telling myself that her rant wasn’t about me at all. I tried my best to keep my ego out of it. But after trying for a good 15-20 minutes to understand her, I knew that the pounding of my heart meant that I wasn’t okay. And before I knew it, I was bawling and causing a mild scene.
My tears were the result of the overwhelm I was feeling. On one hand, I felt failure. I hadn’t been able to hold space for her. On the other hand, I felt anger. I was the client! Maybe she could’ve put aside her opinions before getting to know each other better. Then, the anger left me, and I felt it. The vulnerability that comes when I feel ugly, unattractive. I know where it comes from. And I recognize it immediately when it shows up. I couldn’t move on with this photoshoot, I thought. Low self-confidence was with me again, and it had ruined everything.
Leave or Trust My Intuition and Be Vulnerable Instead
In that moment, looking at the obviously stunned woman across me, I knew I had a choice to make. The easiest thing to do would’ve been to make up an excuse. My personal favorite, “Wow, this PMS has really gotten worse as I creep into menopause.” I could’ve then picked up my bags, lied, and said I’d reschedule. Or, I could’ve wiped my tears, powered through with the shoot, and risked not having one good photo. Then, I probably would’ve thanked the woman but never spoke to her again. But what I chose to do was something new and pretty radical for me.
I instead chose to cry freely. And I demanded to take up space in this new relationship. Because looking at the concern in her eyes, I trusted myself. And I trusted her. I chose to be honest. I knew God wouldn’t put this woman, this experience, in front of me without a reason. Especially now that I was pivoting into spiritual coaching. “Trisha, this is just a taste of what you’ll face,” I heard Him say. And I felt His hand coming through as my Intuition at that moment. Release. Surrender. And share.
By Trusting My Intuition, I’m Participating in God’s Plan
And so I told her everything. I described how I was feeling at that moment. I was brutally honest and completely vulnerable. I told her about my complicated relationship with confidence and how much mental energy I need to even do a photoshoot. The fear of pivoting my business. The struggle of completely surrendering to God’s plan and stepping into an unknown, a space that still feels very foreign to me. The desire to do my absolute best for all the women I meet. The shame I felt by not being able to hold space for her. Then I told her exactly what I, as a woman and as a client, needed from her at that moment.
And as she sincerely told me she was sorry, I knew that she had no intention of hurting me. When she explained the reason why she opened up so honestly was because she felt safe with me, I was humbled. And when she said that now, after this conversation, she felt a stronger connection to me, I understood. I felt that exact same way and admitted that within 30 minutes we had gone from almost strangers to two women with a deep connection. “Spiritual” connection, she added, and I knew God was giving us both two enthusiastic thumbs up.
Confident and Feeling Gorgeous
What happened next is a testament to two amazing women who opened up their hearts, listened to one another, and completely accepted the other right where they were. Both showing up perfectly imperfect. And both ready to learn from the each other and from the experience.
And for the next 90 minutes, let me tell you… I was like, “More over Claudia, Trisha Schiffer is in town!” I felt free, liberated from an old way of being. And more importantly, I felt supported by the new friend I had just made. She coached me through various poses and made the experience feel effortless. And when I look at the pictures now, I feel proud. I see a woman who took care of herself at a very weak moment, who made space for herself, and who listened to what her gut was telling her.
After the session was over, my new friend and I spent the next couple of hours getting to know one another better. She shared her story, and I shared mine. By the time the night ended, I knew I had just met someone very special. And it wasn’t like we were meant to meet each other….. it was like we had always known one another.
Learning to Trust My Intuition Has Been a Process
I didn’t just wake up one day and suddenly know how to trust my intuition. It’s actually been a long process. There have been moments that I handled it well. And there have been many, many cringe moments. But in the end, sometimes losing your shit is completely okay. As long as you come from a place of compassion, you’ll be fine. And, I truly believe that when I trust my intuition, I grow a little closer to God and to the divine within myself. And that feels beautiful, amazing, and inspires me to keep moving forward.
I pray the same for you.
XO, Trish
Photography by the very talented Rosa Rodriguez, one of the most honest, strongest, and compassionate women I’m honored to know.
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