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The First Spark: When Faith Becomes Personal

Dad was not always on the path to becoming a deacon. In fact, he admits, “It was never on the radar, okay? I wasn’t on that trajectory to become a deacon.”

But a faith journey has a funny way of taking us where we need to go, not necessarily where we planned. His journey began when our family hit a rough patch, specifically after my mom returned from a life-changing retreat.

“She came back from that retreat… and there was a glow about her,” he reflected.

This transformation sparked something in my dad, setting him on a new path of discovery. Hesitant as he was, Dad attended a similar retreat, leading to a profound, personal encounter with God.

“I was already Catholic, but I didn’t know Christ. I didn’t know God,” he recounted.

This was the beginning of his faith journey—from attending church out of duty to developing a relationship with God out of desire.

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When Life Takes a Turn You Don’t Expect

After the retreat, things didn’t get easier. In fact, my dad was hit with devastating news: he was diagnosed with terminal congestive heart failure. It was the kind of diagnosis that would make most people feel hopeless. But something had changed in my dad. His faith, which had only recently started to take root, now became his anchor. Instead of sinking into despair, he leaned on his newfound trust in God. He knew there was more to this story, even if he couldn’t see it yet.

Amid his illness, there were moments that felt undeniably miraculous. One of those moments was when it snowed in the Rio Grande Valley, where snow is practically unheard of. My parents had been praying desperately for a sign. That snow was like a whisper from God, reminding them that He was listening and that He was there, even in the darkest times.

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Following the Signs: When God Calls, You Answer

As impossible as it seemed, my dad’s health started to improve. But with this new lease on life came a big question: What now? What was he supposed to do with this second chance? That’s when he started feeling a nudge—a call, really—toward something he never imagined: the diaconate.

Becoming a deacon was not part of his plan. He didn’t feel qualified, and he certainly didn’t see himself in that role. But here’s the thing about a faith journey: it often leads you down paths you’d never expect. Little by little, signs kept pointing him toward this new direction. Encouragement from people he barely knew, and my mom’s gentle but persistent support all pushed him to consider that maybe this was where God was leading him.

“I think he wants me to become a deacon,” he finally admitted. Though he found the idea daunting, Dad decided to follow where his faith journey was leading him and surrendered to the call. Even though he didn’t feel ready, he trusted that God had a plan and was willing to follow it.

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A Life Transformed

Today, my dad’s life has more meaning and purpose than he ever imagined. Through serving others, he’s deepened his faith in ways that continue to surprise him. And what started as my dad’s journey has also impacted me. Watching him embrace this path has inspired my own faith journey and reminded me that we don’t have to have all the answers. Sometimes, we need to take the next step, even if we don’t know where it will lead.

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What Can We Learn from His Faith Journey?

My dad’s story is just one example of how powerful a faith journey can be. It’s a reminder that when we open ourselves to God’s plan, even when it doesn’t make sense, we open the door to miracles and transformation. Whether you’re facing uncertainty, struggling with doubt, or just trying to figure out your next step, his journey shows that you’re not alone—and that trusting in God’s timing and direction can lead you to places you never thought possible.

In this episode, we dive deep into what it really means to follow the signs and surrender to God’s will, even when life throws you curveballs. My dad’s experience is a testament to the power of faith, the beauty of the unexpected, and the importance of staying open to whatever God has in store for you.

So, if you’re uncertain or unsure about where your faith journey is heading, tune in to The Bad Catholic Podcast to hear my dad’s story. It’s a reminder that sometimes the most unlikely paths lead to the greatest blessings. God’s plan might not always be clear, but trust me—it’s always worth following.

xo,
Trisha

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Show Notes

Episode Description

In this episode of the Bad Catholic Podcast, host Trisha Espinoza, alongside her dad Deacon David, discusses the remarkable journey of her father towards the diaconate. David recounts his initial lack of involvement in the church, his life-changing retreat, and overcoming a terminal diagnosis which he attributes to divine intervention. A miraculous sign of snow in typically warm weather gave his family hope and led to his eventual recovery. Despite initial reluctance, guided by signs and encouragement from his wife, David embraced the calling to become a deacon, experiencing a profound transformation in his spiritual life. Trisha reflects on how her personal journey in journalism has come full circle to align with her family’s mission of spreading faith, as they discuss the importance of recognizing and following God’s plan.

Here’s a sneak peek at what we cover:

• 00:00 – Overcoming Depression and Finding Hope
• 00:13 – Introduction to the Bad Catholic Podcast
• 00:52 – How Did You Become a Deacon? The Faith Journey Begins
• 02:54 – A Retreat That Changed Everything
• 06:31 – Facing Terminal Illness with Faith
• 09:29 – Miracles, Signs, and Renewed Hope
• 17:25 – The Call to Serve: Becoming a Deacon
• 24:50 – Full Circle: Using Skills to Spread God’s Word
• 26:06 – Conclusion: Embracing God’s Plan

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Episode Transcript: Read about David’s Faith Journey

Trisha: You’re my dad. You’re also Mr. Deacon David. I’m so confused though about how you became a deacon. I don’t think I know the full story. I know about the miracle. But I’m wondering, were you already on the trajectory to becoming a deacon before the miracle? Tell me, how did that all happen for you?

David: It was never on the radar. I wasn’t on that trajectory to become a deacon. Farthest thing from any goal that I would have had. And it doesn’t mean I didn’t have God in my life.

What happened is, I’d been around church- but, around the church. Your mom was much more involved, and she would take you girls to church, to CCD classes. She made sure you guys receives your sacraments. And I showed up at Easter and Christmas. I was a Christer. So I wasn’t involved.

I’d go occasionally. And one day she was having a lot of problems, emotional problems, because her mom had just passed away. And she was in very, very depressed state, and it was very obvious. And me, I’m used to being the “fix it” guy. You fix stuff. You know, a pipe breaks, you fix it. Somebody is hurt. You fix it. Finances? You fix it.

A Retreat That Changed Everything

David: Well, I couldn’t fix your mom. At all. And she was smart enough to know that she couldn’t do it either. So she signed up for a retreat, not knowing what to expect, but hoping for the best. And she came back from that retreat- about 30 other women that went on the retreat- when they came back into the return mass, they walked in to a song. And your mom was waving her hands, her arms in the air, singing.

And there was a glow about her. Those women at that retreat gave me my wife back. I think your mom and I were at trajectory for possibly separation. I could not help her in any way. And it wasn’t anything that I did, but she just wasn’t in a place where I couldn’t reach her. I didn’t know anything about the retreat other than that my wife was back, and I wanted some of that.

Whatever they did to her, I wanted some. You know, similar to when you go eat at a restaurant and now you want to tell everybody about it? How good it is. Well, I heard how good it was without knowing what happened. And so this was a women’s retreat. So the next time, about six months later, there was a men’s retreat, and I decided I wanted to go.

I mean, she’s still on a high. She’s still being nice to me. So I said, “I want to go find out what happened at this retreat.” And so I signed up, and it was a three day retreat. I was hesitant. I wasn’t involved in church. So I was a little bit leery of what could happen. And you show up and the first thing they do is they take your phone away.

So I said, “Oh, I really don’t want to be here now.” I thought I could sneak off and still communicate with the world, but that all stopped. They closed the door behind us. We’re locked in a retreat center for three days. And the goal of those men at that retreat was to express God’s love through them. And through the things they did, the activities, the talks, I had my conversion moment.

I was already Catholic, but I didn’t know Christ. I didn’t know God. What I realized is that my whole life, I hadn’t given myself to him, but he was walking beside me. I mean, I always attributed, you know the good job, beautiful wife, great kids, two car garage, money, vacations… all my success, I had attributed to me. And what I took away from the retreat is, it was all thanks to God.

And so I met Him at that retreat. But when I left the retreat I thought, Why? What am I going to do now? I’m with this experience that I had, this new relationship that I wanted to cultivate. And how do I do that? So, I immersed myself in church.

David’s Faith Journey is Tested When He Faces Terminal Illness

David: I started going just as much as mom did and started learning as much as I could. And they say that God will not give you more than you can handle. Well, a year later, he gave me a very, very big challenge. But it was the retreat, and my new relationship with Him, that was going to get me through that challenge.

And so what happened is I was diagnosed terminal with congestive heart failure and it had gotten so bad, I didn’t realize it, but it had gotten so bad that the doctor told me that I had, at most, two years to live.

And if I hadn’t gone to that retreat a year before, I couldn’t have handled it. I wasn’t prepared. But now, I had in the back of my head a little bit– Well, wait a minute. I just met God. There must be more. Why am I going through this? There must be more. This was in about April 2004. I couldn’t work anymore.

So, I went on disability. I’m at the house. Your mom’s going off to work. You guys aren’t home anymore. And I’m by myself all day. I’m not allowed to even walk to the mailbox for fear I’ll have a heart attack. And I kind of went into a depression, but little things started to happen that I didn’t lose hope.

Every time I started to lose hope, something would happen. A good example was, we visited two, three doctors back home and they all said the same thing, two years to live. Without a heart transplant, there is no hope, cure, nor remedy. You’re gonna die. And so one of the things that gave me hope was when you investigated and looked into better doctors, I guess.

And we ended up, somehow you got me to the DeBakey Heart Institute in Houston. And we got there and we talked to the doctor and, same thing, “Oh, you’re pretty bad. Yeah, the prognosis is a couple years.” But he put his hand on my shoulder and he says, “But we’re going to help you get through this.”

And that was one of those little things that gave me hope.

Another time a friend of ours, seeing me in depression, invited us to go with him on a trip. They were going to the Shrine of the Holy Eucharist in Alabama. They would make a pilgrimage there every year, and he says, “Hey, I’m about to go on vacation. Why don’t you just hang out with us? We’ll stop at the casinos in Louisiana and we’ll go gambling.” Okay, that got me. So we’re off on our trip.

But again, I’m starting to feel a little bit depressed about the whole thing. And we get to the shrine and the parking lot is at a lower level. You have to climb up these stairs to get to the plaza, the courtyard. And I got scared because they had told me not to exert myself because something could happen. But I didn’t want to show my fear to my friends or to my wife.

So, okay, we start climbing the stairs, and when we get in the middle of the courtyard. It’s a bright sunny day and in the middle of the courtyard, there’s a statue on a podium. It’s a white marble statue.

And I couldn’t tell what it was. But, but there was a figure up there on top, the glare on it, couldn’t really tell. But as we get closer, well, now it looks like a person, a little bit closer, well, it’s a child. And we finally got right up underneath it. And the statue is a statue of Jesus as a child in a long flowing robe, white robe.

And he has his one hand. On his chest and the other hand is outstretched. There’s something in the outstretched arm. And in the, the arm that’s on his chest, he has his chest opened up. And in the other hand, he’s holding his heart. And so I fell on the ground and started crying and there was more hope. And Jesus was telling me, I got this, I’m going to give you a clean heart.

So that gave me hope to continue forward. I didn’t know how he’s going to happen, but he’s going to fix it. We’re there at the shrine again, over three or four days, and. We’re praying the rosary. We show up every morning, rosary at 9 a. m., and we’re Catholic. So we start kind of being territorial, and we go to the first pew, and we kneel down, your mom and I, to pray the rosary.

The third day, we walk in, somebody’s in my chair. They’re in my pew. So I said, oh, I gotta sit over here. So we sat across the pew. And it’s a very cloudy day and on the far wall, there’s an a window and cloudy day, kind of dark and gloomy in there. But just as we sat down to pray, the sun comes through the window and it was like a spotlight and it’s shown only on your mom and me.

Two inches over to the, to the right of me, a couple inches off to the left of mom, darkness. We’re in the light. We prayed the rosary. When we finished, the clouds came back and we’re in darkness again, and your mom and I look at each other and we hadn’t wanted to speak about it, but did you see what happened?

And obviously another magical moment for us that again says, he’s listening to us. He’s gonna find a remedy for, for my problem. I don’t know how, but the retreat gave me the strength to see these things, to recognize them. And so we continued.

A Christmas Miracle Brings Renewed Hope

David: That Christmas, I’m starting to get a little depressed again.

Mom is in our bedroom, and she’s in our room crying. And I didn’t know what happened, but she was crying and praying. And what had bothered her the whole time that I was sick, is the doctors had said our solution was a a heart transplant. And it bothered her that in order for me to get well, Somebody was gonna have to die and she just couldn’t reconcile that, that somebody would have to die in order for our wishes, our hope, our, the remedy be for my life that somebody else died.

So she was praying in her room and she was praying not for a heart but for a remedy. Healing. And so she says, God, David is too young. He still has a lot more to give us. He’s a good man, but I’m only human. I know you’re going to take care of us, but I need to see a sign that you’re going to take care of us.

And so her prayer was that she wanted to hear his voice and how she wanted to hear his voice was when we live in the Rio Grande Valley where, you know, 11 months out of the year, it’s a hundred degrees. And the other month, it’s spring. So she is praying and she goes, God, so I know you are listening to me.

This Friday, on the 25th, in the Rio Grande Valley, where it’s never happened before in the history, is I want to see snow on the ground. And if I see snow, I know that you are listening to me. And that was your mom’s prayer. So that night on the 24th, it’s 1130 at night. And she would have settled for a snowflake, but the sky opened up, the sky opened up and snow started coming down or it’s never snowed before.

And we have a picture of her looking up at the sky. And you, you, she’s not looking at snowflakes. She’s looking at God’s face up there. You can tell. And she’s thanking him. The phone starts ringing because she had shared her prayer with several friends who didn’t believe her. But she’s sharing her prayer.

She shared it with them. They’re calling. It’s snowing. It’s snowing. David’s going to be okay. And so that’s what we went to bed with. And still not knowing. But, knowing that he was listening to us, we had been going to Houston every month to see the doctor. They run the tests. We would show up on Sunday night, Monday, Tuesday, they would do tests.

On Wednesday, we would sit in his office and for eight months, same thing. You’re still sick, you’re not getting any better. You’re still on target, you know. Without a heart transplant, we were still terminal. So we went in January, and with some sense of hope, and so we get there Monday, they do the test, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday we’re in the doctor’s office, and he opens up his, my medical chart, and he starts looking at the numbers.

And his eyes, he goes through a bug eye, his eyes were open wide, and his jaw drops. And he says, David, I can’t explain it. Because we haven’t been doing nothing different medically. He said, I can’t explain it. He said, but you’re not sick anymore. Your heart is no longer enlarged. It’s beating normal. You have a normal heart.

Your numbers say. The EF is what, how they, they calibrate, your numbers are, are normal again. And so your mom and I, we knew, you know, we knew, and we cried all the way home. It was a five hour drive back home and we stopped at every church we could stop at. We went in and prayed and we were okay. But from that, then again.

Now what? Now what God? Why are you giving me this gift? And I just felt compelled to want to do something. That I had to do more. And it bothered me a lot. I was very, very anxious. In Spanish they call it inquieto. I could find no peace. And so I shared that with your, your mom and she says, well, don’t worry about it.

He will open the doors and he will show you the way he’ll show you the way he’ll show you what you need to, where he wants you.

The Faith Journey Becomes Clearer: Becoming a Deacon

David: And so that was several months. And still a sense of anxiousness. I don’t, what does he want? How can I serve him? Where is he calling me? Never on my radar was the diaconate, but we went to a conference here in San Antonio charismatic conference.

And we went to a bookstore where she purchased some books. And this is why she took me because she gave me the books to go pay. Okay. That’s why mom took me to the, this conference. So you could pay for everything? So I could pay for everything. So but we’re at the, we’re there at the bookstore and the lady at the cash register says Deacon, what church do you serve at?

So I can give you the clergy discount. And I laughed and I said, no, I’m not, I’m not a deacon, just charge me whatever. But your mom walks up and gives me a little elbow. Okay, she gives me a little elbow. And a couple other times that weekend, it came up again, Deacon, do you want to lead the prayer? No, I’m not that Deacon.

Yes. And Deacon, do you want to serve at the Mass? No, I’m not a Deacon. So it just came up.

Trisha: And it had never come up before?

David: Never came up before. I don’t know why people saw that in me. But we’re driving home back to the Valley again, another four hour drive. And we didn’t speak. And finally, she says, “Well, did you hear anything this weekend?”

And I pulled over, and I cried like a baby. I cried and cried like a baby. And I said, “I think he wants me to become a deacon.”

“Yeah, I think so, too,” your mom said. And then she shared that she’d had a dream about it. But I ask, “But how can that be? It’s never been on my radar. I’m not. I have nothing in me that says I am.”

And she goes, “Well, pray about it. If He wants you to be a deacon, He’s going to make it happen.” And I go, “But how? There is no diaconate formation program where we live. How can I become a deacon?” And the, I did something I knew would get me out of it. “Okay,” I told her. “What if I quit my job? We sell her home. We sell everything we have and we go somewhere where there’s a diaconate formation program.”

I know she’s not going to let me do that.

So I said, “what if we do that?” I knew that was my Get Out of Jail Free Card. But she answers me, “I’m in, I’m in. If we started out when we got married with nothing, we can go back to that nothing. You can go to school.”

Okay. So, at the time, my job, I would travel a little bit and I said, well, okay, next week while I’m in this city, I’ll go ask them about the DACA information program. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll go somewhere else and ask them and we’ll find out where we can go before I do anything radical.

She said, okay. So the first week I go, first city I went to, they didn’t really have a program either. So I go back home, a little discouraged, I’m going to go to the next place and I’ll find out. It was a Friday when I came back. Well, on Monday, I’m working in town and I come back Monday night and she shows up after work that day.

She worked at a church. So, she has two sheets of paper, and she says, she gives me the first one, and it’s a letter of introduction saying that the Diocese of Brownsville, where we live, was starting a deaconate formation program. And the second one was, Father wants you to apply. And I don’t know Father, you know, I’m not, I don’t know him, but he wants me to apply.

What do you mean you don’t know him? He said you were starting to do church things beforehand, and Well, I’m doing so, but I don’t, he didn’t know me enough to say just some random guy. I’ll be not random guy. And so I look at it and I said, you mean I don’t have to quit my job. I don’t have to get, we don’t have to give everything up in order for me to become a deacon.

She goes, no. She goes, when you agree to do it, God fixed it. So you wouldn’t have to. And so I’m still trying to get out of it though. That’s been for 20 years or something like that. Still trying to get out of it. No, not now, but at that point. Oh, I see. I see. I said, I’m still trying to get out of it. And I said, well, I’m not going to get in.

They’re not going to accept me. I don’t have the education. I don’t have the foundation. I don’t have what it takes. They’re not going to accept me. You have to go through a formal acceptance. Process. And, and at each, and she said again. If he wants you to be his deacon, he’s gonna open up the doors. Every time there was a test or an interview, there were several and every time I, but I got through the door and one day they called us and say, class starts next week.

And I’m still trying to get out of it, but I, I was never able to. So I show up the first day and I’m not prepared. I sit in the back row trying to hide. There were several other guys good that were back there too. So the priest told us, the teacher, he says, you know, we’re going to start a process of formation.

If at any point during the process, you may get kicked out if we don’t feel that it’s right for you. If you don’t feel that it’s right for you it will be revealed to you and you’re welcome to leave as well. So, four years later, though, we were at the Basilica in San Juan being ordained with twenty three other men.

Never on my radar, but your mom was, he will open the doors, he will guide you, he will put you where he wants you. So, I’ve been blessed now to be an ordained deacon for about fourteen years, and it’s been a real, real blessing. More of a gift to, for me than I have been. The bishop at our ordination said that Christ would be known to us in all the people that we come in contact with.

And it’s very true, and he’s very, very present, especially now that I know more, in the sacraments. I mean, I’ve, I’ve been, you know, when a child is being baptized, and I’m not only present, but I’m conferring the baptism. Christ is present during the Eucharist the Mass, and before I was just going. But now, I was present in the physical sense, but now I try to truly be present spiritually and receive what God is trying to give me.

And the challenge is to give back. So it’s, it’s been beautiful. It’s been incredible. I, I still, every day, try to give Him and ask, why me? What can I do for you, Lord? And I try to live that every day. I really do.

The Faith Journey Comes Full Circle: Using Skills to Spread God’s Word

Trisha: It’s, it’s so crazy. When you were speaking, I remembered when I went back to school, my, my final university of all of them, when I went to Texas State and I, at the last minute changed my major and I started doing broadcast journalism.

And my first class that I took was a production class. And we had to work at the radio station and I was a DJ like in a morning shift or whatever. And I just found a photo not that long ago of me with the headphones on in front of a microphone. And I just, and I see you on the other side talking about your journey and how it was never on the radar.

And I’m like, wow. And here I am. with you with these headphones on. And I never imagined that we would be in a situation like this where you’re an ordained deacon teaching me about Catholicism and spirituality. And I was in a place where I thought, you know, it was going to be this a big time journalism or something, but it’s like this really cool full circle moment of like, no, I’m using skills that I had never intended to use to spread the word of God with you.

So you just, you just don’t know. He has a plan. Yeah. God has a plan before any of us were born. He planned for us to be here today. Okay. Having this conversation. Yeah. And hopefully we can find meaning in it. And, find, understand that He’s present right here with us at this moment. Yeah. And, when we leave here, take Him with us.

Trisha: And for anybody who’s listening right now, too, there’s a reason why we’re doing this. There’s a reason why people are finding us and listening to this message right now. So wherever we are. This person listening is going after this. They’re also going to be taking Jesus and God with them. That’s our mission.

Thank you for watching (or reading) my dad’s faith journey. We appreciate your support. May God bless you!