Three years ago, I got divorced. At the time, I was relieved to close that chapter of my life and move forward. As a lifelong Catholic who has spent plenty of time feeling like a “bad Catholic,” I didn’t really think much about an annulment. Honestly, I didn’t even understand what it was or why it mattered. But recently, something shifted in me. Maybe it was this journey I’m on to reconnect with my faith, or maybe it’s just that my dad, Deacon David, always seems to have the right words to nudge me in the right direction. Either way, I’m finally taking this annulment thing seriously, and here’s why.  

What is an Annulment, Anyway?  

Growing up, I heard the term “annulment” tossed around but never really understood it. Like a lot of people, I thought it was just a Catholic version of a divorce—kind of a bureaucratic hoop to jump through. Turns out, I was way off.  

As my dad explained it on our podcast, Bad Catholic, an annulment isn’t a divorce at all. It’s an investigation into whether a marriage was valid in the eyes of the Church. The focus isn’t on how the marriage ended or what happened during it. It’s about what happened leading up to the marriage. Were both people entering into the marriage freely? Were they open about their viewpoints about parenthood? Did they fully understand the commitment they were making? If any of these conditions weren’t met, the Church can declare that the marriage was never valid to begin with.  

It’s not about erasing the marriage from history—it’s about recognizing whether it was ever truly a sacramental bond.  

Why Does It Matter?  

For years, I didn’t think an annulment was necessary. I wasn’t planning to get remarried, so I figured, what’s the point? But then, during one of our podcast episodes, my dad shared a story that really hit home.  

He talked about a woman who had recently gone through a spiritual awakening and wanted to participate fully in the Church again. She had been told—wrongly—that she couldn’t receive Communion because she was divorced. My dad reassured her that divorce alone doesn’t bar you from the sacraments. However, if you remarry without an annulment, the Church still considers you married to your first spouse. That’s when the real complications start.  

Hearing that story made me think about my own situation. No, I’m not in a relationship right now, but what if I meet someone in the future? Do I really want to leave this unresolved and risk it becoming a barrier to my faith or my happiness later?  

The Process (and the Procrastination)  

I’ll admit it: I’ve been procrastinating. The paperwork for my annulment has been sitting on my desk for over a year. Why? Because it’s daunting. As my dad put it, the Church moves quickly once the documents are submitted, but the real holdup is the person filing the petition (ahem, me).  

The process requires you to relive your marriage—answering detailed questions about how it started, why it ended, and everything in between. It’s not exactly a fun walk down memory lane. On top of that, you need witnesses who are willing to fill out similar questionnaires. Asking people to take time out of their lives to do this for you feels like an imposition, and let’s be honest: it’s not a great way to spend a weekend.  

But as my dad reminded me, the process can also be deeply healing. It forces you to reflect on your past and face some hard truths. And at the end of it, you get something priceless: freedom.  

Why I’m Doing It Now  

So, why now? Why, after three years, am I finally ready to tackle this?  

Part of it is practical—I don’t want this hanging over me if I ever decide to remarry. But it’s also spiritual. The more I reconnect with my faith, the more I realize that this is about more than just checking a box. It’s about fully participating in the life of the Church and leaving behind anything that might hold me back.  

During our podcast, my dad said something that stuck with me: “The Church desperately wants you to be reconciled with God. They want you to move on, to heal, and to participate fully.”  

If that’s the case, then I owe it to myself—and to my faith—to stop dragging my feet.  

A Reminder for Anyone in My Shoes  

If you’ve been putting off your annulment like I have, let me be the first to say: I get it. It’s overwhelming. It’s emotional. It feels easier to just avoid it. But as my dad reminded me, you don’t know what the future holds. Whether it’s for peace of mind, the possibility of a new relationship, or simply the desire to reconnect with your faith, getting your annulment is worth the effort.  

So, here’s to finally picking up that pen, filling out the paperwork, and taking one more step toward the person God is calling me to be. If I can do it, you can too.

XO,
Trisha

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Show Notes

Episode Description: Annulment Myths Debunked

What’s the deal with annulments, and why does the Catholic Church care so much about them? In this episode of The Bad Catholic Podcast, I sit down with my dad, Deacon David, to break down the basics of annulments. From what they really are (hint: not a “Catholic divorce”) to why they matter, we tackle some of the most common misconceptions and questions.

We also dive into personal stories—from a woman desperately wanting to receive Communion after her divorce to a 90-year-old man trying to reconcile with his faith before passing. My dad explains the process, why it can be both painful and healing, and why the Church wants you to find closure and freedom through annulment.

If you’ve ever wondered what annulments are all about or why they’re important, this episode is for you.

Here’s a sneak peek at what we cover:

• 00:00 Introduction and Welcome
• 00:59 Understanding Annulments
• 01:35 Annulment Process and Misconceptions
• 05:17 Conditions for a Valid Marriage
• 09:56 Historical Context and Challenges
• 11:15 Personal Stories and Examples
• 15:37 Encouragement and Final Thoughts